Calls

When i was in my univ's library trying to complete the task which had deadline at 5.30pm 2days ago. I's even to lazy to start that. I was searching some life quote's that i taught could cheer me up to not always give up. Then I found this quote..

What i taught these days really confusing me. I always think what kind that I really want to do in life. I think if i don't like accounting (my majoring now), i have to change all, i have to manage well what should i do. BUT to determine ONE i can't. Too huge that i think, so I can't think where major I'm more. Ya, AFRAID is being of the people's weakness. Even i think it's not weakness, but mindset. If we set the mind to fail, so failed is the only one thing that we get. I'm always good in theory  

Since one year as kindergarten teacher, i just found out that i had my interest in children. Not only that, but my heart full of burden about what happening now in the generation. I think about how children can grow without their faith to the Creator, the children who lack of knowledge, poorness, backwardness and many things. I just found out too that i really like when i communicate with my students, waiting for their long-not always true- story, their expression, how they welcome me when i come in the morning to the school and hug me. Then to continue what i found out about myself, many thought passed the mind, many considerations, many counting about plus and minus. Should I? What will I do? Where do I start?

In the other way, I found out too my passion about how I have to expand the ministry especially for teenagers and youth. I browsed many things about how to do approaching to reach the youth . generation. Andddddd too, I remembered when City Harvest Church #batammission2014 gave challenge about whoever that wanted to answer the call and did the ministry and to expand the field of the church, i directly asnwered that calling. Even many disappoinments happen, i really didn't want to give up. I felt like i have a vision for a big breakthrough if i wanted to make stronger my heart and closed my ear for whatever people's would roarzz me.  

I've already discussed with some trusted and who understand about 'this'. And it's strengthen my soul that it's okay for me to go ahead with what i really like and do in life. I'm still counting my time till i finish my bachelor (a year left) and i really will decide after that. I think a fear is needed sometimes so I can always remember that i'm usual human and even cannot decide what's the best for myself, so I have to surround everything plan and desire to the Only One that can make wholely. I really do believe, what i fully trust and surround the thing into His hind, He will make a way for me and open all the ways. I have no opsi except believing. For you guys, that be in this condition, thought, or confusing a lot, maybe this can suggest you better :)